My heart broke from a love untrue, and God said, "What do you want ChristinA?" and I said, “I want to accomplish my life lesson, my mission, my purpose.” And so, God opened me up, both body and soul and I awakened, and my work began, and it was good. And God said, “What do you want ChristinA?” And I said I want to help many people awaken and so God knew I would need a great strength and so he sent me the darkness and I had to fight so it did not destroy many people. I took on the fight and I laid myself at the feet of God willingly and God took fought that darkness and then God said, “What do you want ChristinA?” and said, I want to meet my twin flame to fulfill my twin flame mission and purpose in this life. And God said, “Are you sure, because with it comes a great fire, but if you withstand the fire, you will defeat all darkness”. I did not hear, nor did I understand that, and I said yes, I want to meet my twin flame. And so, God sent me into Egypt, and sent me a flame of my flame to prepare myself for a greater flame; to see if I could withstand the fire. It was hot, but sweet and I surrendered to the journey. And God said, “What do you want ChristinA?” and I said I want the twin flame mission. So, God opened my eyes and I saw my flame of my flame was a betrayer and the flame burned so hot until I began to combust, and I exploded all over the universe and the Angels bellowed and I saw my soul in the eye of my brow shatter all over the Universe and the Angels hearts broke with my heart and I felt it and I was lost.
God said, “What do you want ChristinA?” I had no answer, I was nothingness itself. I stopped and the world stopped with me.
God said, “What do you want ChristinA?” and I said I want my mission, my purpose, I want to live again, but I am lost, please show me the way. And God said, “you will need to sacrifice your son and send him to the father”. I said no, I will not do that, I can do it all. And God tested me, and life got harder, and I lost everything, and I asked God, please show me the way. And God said, “go unto Egypt” and I said no, never again and I cried. And so, God sent me my mother and my father, and they said, “go unto Egypt and find yourself again. Send your son to his father, and the father came, and he took the son, and he said leave the country and go into Egypt and find yourself. And the doors opened and into Egypt I went, and I was lost in the wilderness, and I asked God to show me the way. And God sent me a man with bright eyes and a big smile, and the man asked me to be with him and I said no, and I sent the man into the wilderness, and we went in different directions. And God said, “what do you want ChristinA?” and I did not know, I was too far lost in the wilderness. So, God sent me back to the mother and the father and I stayed near them four years and I felt their great love and then they went Home to God, and I was lost in the wilderness again.
And God said, “What do you want ChristinA?” and I said, I want my twin flame and my purpose and my mission back again. And God said, “I sent you a flame and it was hot, and you got burned and you shattered all over the universe and it took you a long time and you are still not healed, and you ask to go into the fire again?” I said yes, I want to go into the ultimate fire to burn all that is left to burn, and God said, “I warned you….”
And God sent me back into Egypt again.
I thought I was saying goodbye to Egypt, never to return. I thought God was going to send me around the world in search of my place and I would settle and do my mission and I was happy.
I relaxed into releasing myself from Egypt and I saw the flame of my flame and there was no spark, and I knew I was ready. That night I entered a deep sleep, and at the moment just before waking, I was conscious that my body could not move, and the visions began. I saw the opening of a great tomb, and I saw a sarcophagus. On recognition that this was my own sarcophagus, it began to move through the darkened hallways of the tomb. There was a rush of water travelling at great speed in the opposite direction of the sarcophagus, but the sarcophagus moved against the current and got stuck in the narrow hallway. The water rushed, pushing against the sarcophagus, and a fear rose within me, and I heard Gods words, “Remember the Love”. And I remembered my mother and my father, and the love enveloped me. The sarcophagus moved on over the forceful current running in the opposite direction. I, the sarcophagus moved on, and then as the current got faster and stronger, and I was deeper into the darkness of the tomb, the fear rose within me again and I heard, “Remember the Love,” and again, I remembered my mother and my father, my daughter and my two sons and the love enveloped me, and I was set free. I moved forward again against the current, deeper, and deeper into the dark halls and I knew nothing. Again, as I bumped against the walls of darkness and heard the rush and power of the water, I felt the fear rise within me. I remembered again, my mother, my father, my children and once again, the love enveloped me, and the journey began again, until I came out floating on a crystal clear, still pool. All was light and serene. On the shore, stood Osiris, and the sand was white, and the trees were lush, and all was magnificent. I bobbed gently on the water as my sarcophagus settled. Then, as I gazed at the wonder, in all but a second, that seemed an eternity, I felt unworthy. and so, my sarcophagus took off at full speed back through the corridors of the dark tomb, against the flow of the current, bumping into the sides of the walls and getting stuck as the fear rose within me again. And then I heard, “Remember the Love” and I did. I remembered my mother and my father and my babies and the love enveloped me, and the sarcophagus rushed forward again, and three times this repeated and I felt the fear and remembered the love, and the love enveloped me and I began to move forward again. And then, I was once more in the still, crystalline pool, in the magnificent light, and on the pure white shores stood Osiris waiting, and on the waters-edge was Anubis, and in my mind I thought, “I have to go there.” My sarcophagus gently moved over to the shore, and Anubis pulled me the sarcophagus, up onto the shore, and my body began to shake, and I woke up. I knew then that part of my life was over, and a new one was about to begin. I moved from hotel to flat and settled, and then I met the man with big eyes and sparkling smile again, and the feeling sparked within me, but I pushed it aside. And God said, “What do you want ChristinA?” and I said, “a new life and to find my true twin flame so my mission can start again”. And so, as I tried to book my ticket into India for my new life to begin, I began to purge, and I was blocked from leaving Egypt and the man called to me and the journey began. I knew this man is my twin flame and it was hard, and the flame burnt strong and burned with such painful intensity and God said over and over, “What do you want ChristinA?” and I continued to say, I want my twin flame and so God turned up the heat again and again. “What do you want ChristinA?” I want my twin flame mission and so God gave us a united mission, and all seemed well and then the fuel within the fire kept the fire burning and the intensity eased, but still a fire and then the fire went out briefly, and God said “What do you want ChristinA?” and I said I want peace and God started the twin flame mission again, but my twin flame was still burning at a different intensity choosing tradition over God’s purpose, and God said “what do you want ChristinA?” and I said I want the Return to Love……
What do you Want?
The journey into Love begins when you let go of the fear of what you might lose. Remembering the love will always drive you forward away from fear and onward into the unknown ocean of love, mystery and wonder….
Remember the love
The journey into the Return to Love continues....
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